bases

what my room is looking like right now...

progress

finally decided to put my sketches on canvas. 

"feeling blue, feeling used"

#wip

currently working on a collection of body image pieces inspired by plus size women

number one

number two

number three

number four

number five

venting session

he made me the person i am today. 


but remained the person he was yesterday. 








i loved when he talked life. 

not the fairy tale life, real life. 

it's a beautiful experience to love an artist. 

but sometimes the art doesn't really reflect the person who painted it.

i like honest art. 

i loved his honest art. 

but his honest art only told the good parts. 

his honest art never told the story of his dark heart. 



it was the type of love that is real good when it's real good. 

the type of love that is real bad when it's real bad. 

eventually the bad outweighed the good. 

it wasn't just him. 

i'll take some of the blame. 

but i refuse to take it all. 

i will not hate myself for his mistakes.

just like he couldn't love me for mine. 




i'm still so deep in love. 

and i always will be. 

it's too late to turn back. 

because i always thought we could get back. 

back to how we were in the beginning. 

when it was just you and me. 

and the other one didn't matter. 

i loved you and only you. 

but you fell for any pink matter. 




now i think back, maybe he wasn't the one who influenced my life now. 

many people had gave me the same advice before.

but he meant something to me. 

so what he said meant something to me. 




anyway, i just wanted to vent. 

i just wanted to let you know i'm a better person now. 

i'm happier. 

because you no longer control my happiness. 

i hope you see this. 

and i hope you feel bad. 

because you wrecked me. 

and i hope you feel proud. 

because i pieced me back together.

we

what are we? 

you have someone else. 

so what are we?

because you still want me.  

tell me what are we?

i love you. 

and you say you love me. 

i can see it in your eyes. 

you do. 

but you love her too. 

until you are free,

i'm afraid we can't be. 

until you are all for me,

there can be no we.